Sunday 15 March 2009

Suicide Girls - goth, erotica


"Suicide Girls" started out as just a website to display creator Missy Suicide's "erotic photography." This is a different category than "porn," but I guess at some point it's splitting hairs. If we can place this DVD on a continuum with the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or Maxim on one end and "Barely Legal" or "Shaved Asian" on the other, I suppose it would be closer to the former. Of Course, considering most of the Suicide Girls come from the punk subculture, complete with the tattoos and piercings to prove it, that would have to add to the kink factor somewhat. Then again, compared to the "Girls Gone Wild" franchise, SG has a far lower perv factor; i.e. you can watch this without feeling all icky afterward. You may want to put on actual porn, though, so that can be a strike against SG, even though that's hardly their fault. Heck, the girls themselves seem to have a bit more going on in their heads than the "Gone Wild" variety. Actually, in the interview segments that pepper the main attraction of the disc, they have precious little to say to prove this, but they just seem smarter. I mean, they HAVE to be smarter, don't they?



As for what you actually get for your hard earned perv budget, the main thing is a 94 minute "documentary" of the girls as they embark on a cross-country tour of burlesque shows, usually in venues normally reserved for music. Within that are profiles of the various girls on the tour: a short "interview" gives way to a short example of their stage routine (pasties and duct tape are involved) gives way to a filmed photo shoot (this time without the pasties and duct tape, thankyouverymuch). There's plenty of music to accompany the segments, not all of it punk. A complete listing in teeny-tiny print can be found underneath the disc's back cover. But wait, there's more! You can also watch the movie without the interview segments, which cuts down on the running time considerably. An interview with Missy is the closest you'll get to actual information here, as she discusses what she was trying to do with the site, which was present "real" girls of all shapes, sizes and body modifications in a "sexy" manner. Mind you, by all sizes they seem to run the gamut from thin to really thin, though at least none of them seem to have much interest in implants, which works for me.



The rest of the disc has some mildly fun outtakes and a music video by Probot featuring some Suicide Girls which is much better with the mute button. I guess if Missy is serious about expanding the franchise, we can expect calendars, books and, one would guess, "Toys." There's already a CD of some of the girl's favorite goth tunes, so I guess the sky's the limit.



So while you can expect to have fun with this, don't expect your life to be changed or anything. On the down side, this disc may cause a serious medical condition with the scientific name of "Blue Balls." Fortunately, there are all sorts of web sites where this can be cured. Or so I'm told. Suicide Girls - The First Tour

My fiancee and I rented this video because we have friends who are suicide girls who model for her artwork and she was hoping to find a few girls she could freeze frame and draw. I sat in because, well, why would any guy sit in on this? I love the female form, and I love it even more when it's tattooed. Let me start off by saying the special features are lacking. As a dvd this doesn't rate.



The tour featured The Suicide Girls, and BANDS. The bands are barely mentioned and never shown, except for a few snippits here and there. So if you saw the live show and are hoping to hear from a band you liked, don't hold your breath, they take no part in this DVD. If this is a docu about the tour they skipped a huge part of it.



I didn't find any of the women to be particularly attractive either. Short hair doesn't do it for me, so maybe I am bias against about 75% of the women featured, but even my fiancee agreed that none of the girls were anything to write home about. (She's an artsy everyone is beautiful in their own way type, so that is actually saying a lot). It also seemed like every time something slightly erotic or arousing would occur in the DVD something horrifying and disgusting would immediately follow. Public urination, talk of diarrhea and vomit, nose picking, it's all present and accounted for.



The girls all come off as extremely fake and way over the top. Pretty much all of them are more annoying than sexy at one time or another, or all the time. Things seem scripted and set up, and undoubtedly are. The pool scene for instance. A bunch of twenty something nude women waking up an entire hotel at some ungodly hour and hotel management doesn't call the cops immediately? I call shenanigans.



Now onto technical aspects. I could go on for days about what's wrong with the women of the film and not even scratch the surface, but I'll move on for sake of not making this a task to read. The camera man sucks. On all the photo shoots he is out of frame, out of focus, and seemingly out of his tree. If a girl is posing flipping the bird at the camera why is the wall behind her taking up so much of the screen that I can't even see her full hand? What's with all the ridiculous close ups? I'm not a dermatologist, I don't need to see an inch of skin zoomed all the way in on while yo pan past all the parts that nude models are supposed to display. It actually made me nauseous at points the way the camera would whip around erratically.



That sums up the major points, but on a personal level I would like to thank the Suicide Girls in this DVD for doing their best to make the rest of us heavily tattooed "alternative" people look extremely bad. We are not all like this. Get the DVD from Netflix if your really interested in seeing it, but you'd be better off spending the money on their ridiculous membership fee's if your looking for a skin show. - Erotica - Goth - Nude - Punk'


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