To quote Duke Nukem from this actual game... "FAIL TO THE KING, BABY"
Now I could nit pick about how bad this is... But I think other reviewers will get that just fine as I am not the only one that has been MAJORLY disappointed by this game. SO this will be MY personal single player experience with this... Turd of a game.
Some of the Duke Nukem humor and such is there but nothing I really haven't heard before. They really should have asked Bruce Campbell for some new quotes since it looked like the writers couldn't think of much of their own.
I don't know why people are complaining about graphics... Why would you only play a game for the graphics? The load times for me were around 15 to 20 seconds... So get better computers then. If sitting still for under a minute makes you fly into an uncontrollable rage fit then you need some professional help.
One of the FIRST things I noticed, in comparison to the other 3D Nukem games is that there are NO SECRET AREAS or end level Nukem buttons like Duke 3D, Zero hour, and Time to Kill. This actually pissed me off the most as one of the things I liked most in the Duke Nukem games was getting to explore the levels and find hidden bad guys and secret areas and buttons that do random things and reveal special areas... It gave it this little thing that current developers seem to forget about called RE-PLAYABILITY!!!!!!... "Unf unf unf unf Where is it!?!" But there is none of that in this game! You can only carry TWO weapons! No jet pack! The path you take is pretty much standard SUPER LINEAR C.O.D. and Bulletstorm knockoff with bits of Prey and Half Life 2 thrown in... In fact, my friend was watching me play and kept thinking I was playing a Half Life 2 mod.
There was really nothing new added in terms of bad guys or guns. The A.I.... Oh damn the A.I. is absolutely HORRIBLE! TERRIBLE! BEYOND BAD! At one point I saw some, now shirtless, pig cops and then backpedaled into a room with huge open double doors, and in the other room they just kept shooting and throwing pipe bombs at the wall. I let the game run for 30 minutes while I went off to play Duke Nukem Time to Kill on my ps1 (because I needed a healthy dose of good Duke to make up for all the bad Duke) and not a single one came into the room I was standing defenseless in the middle of. I think the developers said something along the lines of "We want the A.I. to feel like the 90s" In all honesty I think that was their way of saying, "We really don't want to put too much effort into making this a good game for a historic gaming series because people will buy it just for the name alone."
The game starts off Duke Nukem enough but then it loses it's nostalgia really quick... It was promising at the first level or two and felt like it would be an OK Duke Nukem game... So if you want to play an OK Duke Nukem game, just play though dukes Casino/Hotel level then sell the game or turn it off or return it to the place you rented it from... It felt like the developers spent more time on the first two or three levels than the rest of the entire game, and just sort of settled for whatever came along after that. If I had wanted to play around in Las Vegas and Hover Dam I would just play Fallout New Vegas instead because this game goes nowhere else! In other Nukem games you would go from Frankenstein Castle, to an alien ship in space, to the Wild West, to an urban area, to a submarine under water, to England, a duke burger, forward and backwards in time, and many other things. This game was the exact opposite and just too predictable, there was no excitement, no anticipation for what may come next.
The most this got out of me was a halfhearted chuckle at a very few moments in the game. It is nothing like the Classic Duke 3D games where I would bust up laughing at something I couldn't believe they got away with showing or doing. Though I think the part I laughed the most in this game was Duke and The glory hole. When you do this part, just jump up and down to see who, namely what gender, is actually in the stall next to you!
Even if this game came out 10 years ago, I would still be rather critical about it because it just doesn't feel Nukem enough. In car terms it would be like Wanting a New Ford Mustang GT and then getting a Rusty Ford Pinto instead.
-No Secret areas.
-limited environment interactivity after first few levels.
-No good Rock and Roll level music.
-Duke doesn't KICK things anymore, he now does the typical weapon butt melee thing.
-A.I. that is so bad it made me twitch.
-No really new content, guns, or bad guys.
-Way too linear and predictable for a Duke Nukem 3D game.
-For over 12 years of development how can they release an under 7 hour game?!?!?
-No end level Nukem Button.
-No jetpack.
-No really good new "one liners."
-Dated Level design and graphics.
-NOT ENOUGH DUKE!! Duke Nukem Forever
I posted this same review for the BoS edition, which is the one I almost bought, thought I'd repost it here as there are people that just want the game, not the BoS edition.
I had the opportunity to play Duke Nukem Forever before it was released, and I played up to the levels after the "Queen Bitch" level, where you are outside, high up in the air climbing over the alien growth. The only reason I made it that far was because I am a fan of Duke and really wanted to see this through. So when Gearbox finally finished the game and proved all the skeptics wrong, I was stoked!
Unfortunately, after playing, I canceled my preorder for the balls of steel edition. As much as I enjoyed the previous Duke games, even as a fan I can't justify paying $90 for this game. I've also been told by friends and other people that bought the balls of steel edition that the items are underwhelming. A predictable anti climax if you ask me. But I'm not here to review the items, I want to talk about the game. That's the reason you're buying.
This game is worth the budget bin price of $10 - $15, at most. Kudos to Gearbox for just finishing it, and the graphics don't look amazing, but they don't look bad either. They managed to keep the cheesy macho American lines and overall character of Duke, but beyond those three things, I can't really say anything else good about the game.
Let me start off with the weapons. All your favorites from Duke Nukem 3D are in there, but the problem is, they feel like crap. I know the pistol isn't supposed to be powerful, but it doesn't even feel powerful. None of the weapons are really satisfying to use either, save for maybe the shrink ray and the rail gun. Not only that, but you can only carry two at a time. I can't help but think they only put this in here because of the fact it's going to be on consoles. The whole game is a tribute to the old Duke and how FPS games used to be, as in, you played a character that was practically a one man army.
Next, the A.I. is... From the same era as Half-Life 1. Yes that was groundbreaking, but that was also 1999! Enemies run at you or hide behind cover. That's it.
The level design isn't that good either. There isn't anything innovative and you know you're doing something wrong when, in a level where you control a car, you can't find where to go next. There are also moments where enemies will just spawn out of ships and you have to deal with wave after wave of enemies until they go away. This is lame and if I wanted to experience such cheap gameplay I would play Modern Warfare or Black Ops. The bosses are also pretty standard, just the regular shoot until it dies.
What I do like is that they managed to keep the theme of Duke with cheesy jokes and objectification if women. Though a lot of the people who might find this funny are pubeless thirteen year old boys. Of course, if this was released ten years ago, this might be a different story. By todays standards, and by that I mean Half-Life 2, not Bad Company 2, this game is mediocre at best. A tribute to how shooters used to be.
Overall there is some fun to be had, for a few minutes, but after that, I don't feel compelled to finish the game. The multiplayer has your standard modes and there's no co op, which might of made this a little more bearable going through it with a friend.
Gearbox are responsible for Opposing Force (the best expansion ever made) and Borderlands, so I expected the game to be ok, but not amazing. I thought this was reasonable considering how long we've had to wait, but the game failed to meet such low expectations. If they had made it from the ground up it might of been a good game, but that would of meant an even longer wait. Like I said, kudos for finishing it. I, like many other Duke fans will finally cross this one off the bucket list.
I've played all the most relevant, and some obscure or underrated FPS games on PC, but this is down there with the worst of the lot. If you really must play this game now, rent or borrow from a friend, or wait until it goes on budget. It's not worth full price. I'd give this game a 3/10. - Babes - Finally - Balls Of Steel - Best Game Ever'
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