Handerpants are very, very comfortable - more so than a traditional glove. They provide my knuckles with a decent amount of support and I never, ever find myself having to adjust them in public. While I have had a few cases of "swamp hand", especially on warmer days, the overall comfort level remains high. Loose fitting gloves have always been more of a problem, but now, with Handerpants, my hairy knuckles are gently cradled by the soft lining and I no longer have to be concerned when running.
HOWEVER -
These things are very, very susceptible to staining and, after consuming a relatively melty chocolate bar, I was ridiculed for having skid marks on my hands. If only these gloves came in other colors! :( Nothing is more embarrassing than having people point at the guy who looks like he doesn't know how to properly wipe his hands! Accoutrements Handerpants
I loved this product when I got it in the mail, I mean, they come in pairs! The white cotton is breathable and durable. Everything you'd want in underpants. I've been looking for these for a long time. These underpants come with all the necessary holes pre-sewn to accomodate 4 legs and a tail. It was tough to get them on Mittens at first but soon with a few staples and some duct tape, he's doing fine. No more unsightly furry male cat genitalia for upstanding citizens to have to be affronted by. Thanks, Handerpants!
As a genetic bio-engineer, I am working on architecting the growth of organs and appendages via biological induction grafting. For you dummies, that means I do things like grow human ears on mice. It's super cool.
One day I fell asleep at work, in the lab, and a couple of the office knuckleheads decided to prank yours truly. Here's what went down. See, we had this dick in the freezer - some Japanese guy kicked off and donated it to us. It's in his will and everything. Pretty wild, right?
So, other than occasionally pulling it out of the fridge and sticking it in Benny's ear for a goof, it doesn't get much action.
Currently we're working on growing a thumb - it's pretty great because all the mice look like they're doing the Fonz's "Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" as they have a big thumb sticking up on their backs.
Because we're so tied up with the thumb, we have no time to mess around with the freezer dick. Eventually we'll learn how to grow dicks, although more people need new thumbs than dicks, you know?
But, back to my story.
I passed out around noon after a particularly heavy Arby's beef and cheddar lunch. It was one of those five-for-five deals, and I put down the sandwiches in about seven minutes.
When I woke up, Carl was pointing at my hand and laughing. Those bozos has grafted the Japanese dick to my right palm!
Well, two weeks later and the dick's still attached. Apparently my body has "accepted" the dick, and if I have it removed, it'll die or something.
I know - totally bummed.
I reported Carl to HR - although, I did have to admit it was a pretty solid gag. But, walking around with a dick on my hand is a little inconvenient. Plus, it's embarrassing.
Most people don't like seeing dicks in public - there's actually a lot of trouble you can get in showing you dick around town. It's a big deal to the law.
I found the Handerpants on Amazon. It sucks to type with a dick on your hand, as I'm always hitting the "/" key accidentally.
I can now go out into public with ALL of me. My real dick and my palm-dick are both out of sight. And the gloves are fingerless, so I have a little hipster fashion thing going on.
Thank you Handerpants!
Attention public - if you see me walking around, do NOT give me a high five. That really hurts!
Meh. These are ok, but I have "big hands" if you know what I'm sayin', so I'm hoping for a pouch design that will help alleviate the unsightly palm bulge that has left me more than a little embarrassed on several occasions. Also, I wouldn't mind seeing a thong design for the warmer months. Nothing's worse than having a sweaty hand leave obvious streaks across your hand skivvies.
After having lunch at the 99 cent Taco and Indian food restaurant around the corner from my home i luckily (or so i thought!) managed to buy a pair of these before returning to work. They are completely useless! i was barely even able to get the pair of premium 95% cotton, 5% spandex men's briefs onto my foot; Nevermind up my leg! After a bit of contorting in the Texaco men's room, along with judicious use of some duct tape, i was finally able to get them on and return to work. i do not intend to use the second pair that comes in the package.
There are no more awkward moments of uncertainty, as the derriere stares at approaching hands that must certainly look ghastly or threatening. Rectum? You know the rest. Fear no more with Handerpants; there is familiarity, kinship. They're in the same social circle, the same gang. The fear associated with mud butt has a cure!
Softer than Charmin, there remains one major flaw with this product: the fingerless design. Let me just say that things get a bit messy regardless of hygienic techniques if you're finishing off a pint and a plate of nuclear hot wings.
Definitely worth the purchase to ease the rectal anguish
If you have ever longed for your hands to have that well-travelled, sophisticated look seen on the runways and locker rooms of Europe's most sophisticated cities, you won't want to miss out on Handerpants! The fit is perfection, the workmanship is devine, the price is just right and they are equally a delight on both men and women!
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for HANDERPANTS!
I have to say, I was extremely excited to sport my handerpants for the first day of school. The fit and support gave me extra confidence, I even got up the nerve to say hi to that cute Brenda Bigchest at her locker!! ;-) But then that class bully Tommy Toughguy grabbed the band on my right hand and pulled it above my elbow. While I was rolling on the ground, writhin in pain, he did the same to my left hand! Then he hung me on the chain link fence by the bands. That's why I, Ned Nerdalert, is rating this product 2 stars. Save yourself the humiliation, don't buy Handerpants - just give the money directly to the class bully. - Underwear - Briefs - Funny - Hands'
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