I am a special education teacher in New York City and I want to clear a few things up.
1. LD is NOT mild mental retardation, as another reviewer suggested. IQ is unrelated to specific learning issues. I have worked with students who tested in the gifted range, thus making their specific learning issues that much more obvious. Classifying a child as "cognitively impaired" implies that the child is performing up to capacity, and that the child's capacity is significantly reduced. That is not the case with an LD student. The definition of LD is that the child is unable to perform up to his or her capacity in an academic subject or subjects without appropriate remediation and accommodation.
From www.ldonline.com, an excellent resource:
THE IDEA DEFINITION
Since "learning disability" is an umbrella term, it seems most appropriate to use a broad and inclusive definition. The basic definition in the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) is set forth below:
(A) IN GENERAL- The term "specific learning disability" means a disorder in one or more of the basic psychological processes involved in understanding or using language, spoken or written, which disorder may manifest itself in imperfect ability to listen, think, speak, read, write, spell, or do mathematical calculations.
(B) DISORDERS INCLUDED- Such term includes such conditions as perceptual disabilities, brain injury, minimal brain dysfunction, dyslexia, and developmental aphasia.
(C) DISORDERS NOT INCLUDED- Such term does not include a learning problem that is primarily the result of visual, hearing, or motor disabilities, of mental retardation, of emotional disturbance, or of environmental, cultural, or economic disadvantage.
So for the reviewers who diagnosed Ms. Buchman's daughter as mentally retarded, it would seem that the law is not on your side. Nor is science. I recommend visiting LDonline and educating yourself about learning disabilities.
2. A number of people expressed what sounded quite like resentment that the author was able to get her daughter special appointments, treatments, and schooling, as though she was somehow unusual or special. Why should we accept that children live in situations where help is not available, where you need finanical resources in order to get evaluations and services? Instead of being angry at the author, why not do something about it?
3. Special education schools differ in their method of funding. Most children receive a free education provided by funds from the government, which are given to the school that can educate them most appropriately. While there are parents who choose to go outside of this system and pay privately, the fact is that children do not need to be rich to get into schools. At my first job, it cost $30,000 per child to provide adequate staff and resources, yet we serviced homeless and poor families. And this is as it should be. In the end, it would cost more to put children into institutions and group homes and hospitals and jails than to just do the right thing in the first place. Not to mention the loss of human potential and taxpayer money that would result from denying kids the education they needed. A Special Education: One Family's Journey Through the Maze of Learning Disabilities
As the parent of a child with a disability, I wanted to like this book more than I did. I appreciate Ms. Buchman's candor about all the events in her life and am glad that it has helped some parents. However, I could not relate to most of what she wrote.
Most parents of kids with disabilities don't have the extreme resources that she has, including live in nannies, access to training programs across the country, expensive private schools, whatever specialists, psychologists, etc America can offer and more. Plus if you're more in tune with your kids, more engaged with them and not emotionally closed off, you might find little in common with a lot of her personal struggles with her kids and husband. I was glad to read that she worked on those issues, but again, I could not relate.
Perhaps it has just come easier to me to not bottle in my feelings about my son's disability at least in front of my own family, and I have always felt strongly about being open and honest in a caring way with my other children, not being an emotionally distant family with pink elephants in the room.
I also have always been a type A overachiever, and yes it has been with some pain that I had to shelve the supermom within me to instead slow down and focus on my special needs family, but I just couldn't relate to her behavior. I also think, like another reviewer wrote, that the things she wrote don't make sense - the crazy hours she and her husband both work, plus constant travelling for work, just does not jive with all the "family time" and long weekend mornings and weeknight dinners she claims to have with her kids. The rosy colored glasses I think she's viewing her kids' childhood with may lead some readers to feel guilty unfairly. Some people may like this book, but I am glad I got it from the library instead of buying it.
I too have a child with LD two years younger than Charlotte. I know the heartbreak of LD and I cried because I experienced the same things Ms. Buchman experienced as a mother raising a beloved child with LD. I also, like Ms. Buchman have another child who is gifted and does not have LD. I know that having a child with LD,dyslexia,ADD,etc. changes your life forever. Parents with LD children will want to read this book and then give it to the many teachers that are not trained to understand what LD does to children and their families.Give this to gandparents,neighbors and close friends. People don't understand that LD children may look like everyone else but they have disabilities that are very real and painful to them and to the family as a whole. These disabilities can be in all academic areas as well as speech,sports,and social. Do not let the fact that Ms. Buchman is a designer keep you from reading this book if you have a young child with LD. Her feelings,emotions, marriage, etc. pretty much follows the same path of any parent in this situation. You will find common ground with a parent who is being honest about dealing with LD. I appreciated her honesty. I just wish this book would have been written years ago when my child was diagnoised. I believe she has opened some doors to understanding the LD child and their family and her book will bring the subject out into the light.'
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