Looking to our elders for guidance is a time honored and wise practice that unfortunately is not played out often enough. John Izzo encourages us to go back to that tradition in his book "The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die." Seeking the secrets to happiness, it makes sense to look to those who have lived it.
John interviewed over 200 people, all over the age of 60 and some up into their hundreds, who had been identified by their own friends and family as "the one person they knew who had found happiness and meaning." These people were asked such questions as: "What has brought you the greatest sense of meaning and purpose in life?" and "What is the greatest fear at the end of life?" They were asked to finish the sentence: "I wish I had..." These elders came from all walks of life and acted many roles; some were authors, professors, or business owners, others were a nurse, psychologist, biologist, and a barber. Amazingly, or expectedly, their answers were quite similar. Therein are the five secrets.
The first, and only one I will divulge, is "Be True to Your Self." Of course this can mean different things to each person who reads the words, but author John Izzo guides readers to the purpose behind them. His guidance leads one to ask in this chapter, "Am I following my heart?" "Is my life focused on the things that really matter to me?" and "Am I being the person I want to be in this world?" Answering these questions will lead a person to be true to themselves. Izzo demonstrates the secret by sharing stories from his interviewees. They share by example, much as elders have done since the dawn of humanity. This brings the secret to life for us, and then Izzo gives us homework. He gives us questions to ask ourselves each day or week, that bring the secret home and to the front of the mind. Practice, practice, practice. And so on, with each of the five secrets.
This book is a gem. It is an obvious quest to go to our wise members of society and seek answers to life's questions, but many of us no longer do it. "The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die" does it for us, and hopefully will prompt us to do it ourselves with our own elders. The stories here are all about living wisely, living in the moment; some are funny, while others are poignant. All should be thought-provoking. The consistency of the lessons makes for an easy to understand and digest plan. Taking one secret at a time to work on may be best for some people, pausing in the consumption of the book to work on that particular goal. Other may devour the entire book in one sitting and go back to reflect more carefully as they consider each message. The end result is surely one that will be self fulfilling and inspired. While the title may cause one to stop for a second, for good reason and cause, the content and purpose is wisdom. The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die
John Izzo interviewed 200+ people over the age 60 who were described by many others as happy and wise people. Through in-depth interviews, he learns the five secrets of life:
1. Why do some people find meaning & die happy
2. Why I talked to the town barber (and 200 other people over 60) about life
3. The first secret: be true to your self
4. The second secret: leave no regrets
5. The third secret: become love
6. The fourth secret: live the moment
7. The fifth secret: give more than you take
8. When you know you have to go (putting secrets into practice)
9. Preparing to die well: happy people are not afraid to die
10.A final lesson: it's never too late to live the secrets
Epilogue: How this book changed me
The author writes in conversational tone and supported his secrets with colorful anecdotes and personal reflections. For example, in the second secret (leave no regrets) Izzo states that in "his experience from the last 30 years, validated in these interviews, death is not what we fear the most. When we have lived life fully and done what we hoped to do, we can accept death with grace. What we fear most is not having lived to the fullest extent possible, to come to the end of our life with our final words being `I wish I had.'...to leave no regrets we must live with courage, moving toward what we want rather than away from what we fear."
While the 5 secrets aren't a surprise to many, there are many powerful insights in this book that leave you thinking. And while it's one thing to know the secrets, it's an entirely different (and more difficult) matter to put them into action.
If you enjoyed this book, pick up John's Izzo other gem - Second Innocence.
What are the secrets to finding happiness and living wisely? This second line of the first chapter captures the purpose of Dr. John Izzo's new book The Five Serects You Must Discover Before You Die (2008 Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.). The book is an urgent plea to the reader to embrace life--in ever encounter, every experience, every emotion every single day.
Izzo proposes we do that by accepting that life is limited to an unknown amount of time for each of us but that within this limited time we have unlimited opportunities to choose to find meaning by living a purposeful life and thereby find happiness.
He interviewed several hundred older people--"wise elders"--based on the recommendations of persons who recognized them as sources of wisdom. In this way, Izzo turns to ordinary folks who have lived full lives for the wisdom necessary to do the same. If other great teachers of our time and previous times have said it before, so be it. Now we receive the wisdom from the local barber, the Holocaust survivor, the grandma on the porch rocker.....All of Izzo's sources are over 60 because, the author said, this is the age at which most people tend to reflect on life. They're done having and getting; they are looking back on all that they have done.
This diverse group offered insights that came down to these five points:
1. Be true to yourself by living with intention. Know your heart's desire and seek it.
2. Live with no regrets. Regrets, Izzo said, are most persons' biggest fear--not dying itself. So mend fences, make peace, and move your life into a place of peace. The best way to live without regret, Izzo says, is to take chances, pursue those dreams, and accept the failure that might be your way. Rather than be crushed by failure, learn from it.
3. Become love. Love is not an emotion but a choice, a way of being that involves seeing ourselves and others with kindness and compassion. That love creates the opportunities to follow your bliss, heal hurts in yourself and others, and to find peace despite challenges and hardships.
4. Live in the moment. Right here right. That's all.
5. Give more than you take. Izzo explores that wonderful idea of finding yourself and then losing yourself. Once you identify your heart's desire and live your life pursuing it, the chance of accumulating any regrets is reduced. Once you become love, kindness itself becomes part of your purpose, and each moment offers all the joy of a lifetime. This creates an abundance of resources in the forms of love, trust, hope, joy, kindness, compassion. Draw from this deep well and give it away. Leave the campsite better than you found it, as one wise elder put it.
And then, as the saying goes, you will wake each day knowing it is a good day to die.
Posted by SandyCarlson at 6:51 AM 0 comments - Wisdom - Self-help - Personal Transformation - Life'
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